Persevering Through Adversity | Stevie Rasmussen | AWM Capital Athlete Wives Series #3
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Episode Summary
Stevie Rasmussen, the wife of Ray's pitcher Drew Rasmussen, has a unique story to share of their experiencing true adversity in the big leagues.
Everyone at some capacity knows that there will be hard times for families in the minor leagues. Still, few families are prepared and equipped with the tools to handle the complex circumstances that families will experience.
Drew was drafted in the first round after his junior year - only to have this opportunity taken away due to a failed medical exam. Stevie shares how they have handled and persevered through many a trying time in baseball.
Stevie shares their vulnerable story of how they went from being overnight millionaires to having to return to Oregon State for Drew's senior season - and having to take out student loan debt to fund his senior season.
Stevie's simple yet profound advice to other baseball spouses going through similar circumstances - adversity in the game of baseball is inevitable. How you respond to that adversity and support your family is what truly matters.
Episode Highlights
2:44 - Stevie discusses how she didn't want to be dating an athlete while at Oregon State, but Drew changed her mind
4:18 - Sophomore year of college - Drew received his first Tommy John Surgery. Stevie discusses how Drew felt isolated and not part of the team
5:09 - Stevie talks about how prior to the surgery, she saw that her identity was built around Drew and baseball, and the surgery grew their relationship
6:12 - After rehab Drew returned to pitch in the College World Series and subsequently get drafted in the first round of the MLB draft
6:33 - Drew flew to Tampa Bay to be announced as the Rays first-rounder, only to find out that his elbow was blown out again, and Drew received Tommy John surgery #2.
8:45 - Stevie discusses the feelings she experienced during Drew's surgery
10:01 - Stevie goes deeper regarding how easy it is to have her identity wrapped up in Drew - even going so far as to introduce herself as "Drew's wife"
11:39 - Stevie discusses her feelings of Drew's second surgery - where they went from receiving a $2.1m signing bonus to working landscaping in Corvallis OR being in student loan debt
15:55 - Stevie shares the 2 different draft experiences - with the second time being drafted by the Brewers
18:40 - Drew's debut was in COVID of 2020 - Stevie, unfortunately, watched the debut in the hotel across the street.
21:20 - In 2021, Drew was traded to the Rays, and Stevie shares how this was her roughest part of baseball
22:30 - The wives' community is strong - and showed up when Stevie needed them most. Brooke Burnes, wife of Cy Young award winner Corbin Burnes, showed up and helped Stevie pack her entire apartment.
27:55 - The Power of the Baseball Wives
28:40 - Money does not fix our problems - money is just a tool to be taken care of for what's important.
31:50 - Stevie discusses how fortunate they are, and how they optimize their resources for their family, their community, and giving back.
35:26 - Stevie discusses the powerful perspective of families navigating the questions of 'can you' afford something vs. 'should you'
37:53 - Stevie's advice - adversity is inevitable. Lean on the community and ask for help.
Stay Connected
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If you have any questions or would like to reach out to Josh:
Josh McAlister – Josh@AWMCap.com
+ Read the Transcript
Josh McAlister (00:03): Welcome to the MLB Player's Wives Series. I'm your host, Josh McAlister, a private wealth advisor at AWM Capital. AWM Capital is a family office that is committed to helping out baseball families navigate the complexity of obtaining and stewarding generational wealth. Here you go behind the scenes to hear stories directly from baseball wives who sit in your shoes, deal with the issues you encounter and walk the exciting yet complex life of being a baseball wife. Our guests aim to provide support, guidance, and advice on how to help you navigate the inevitable challenges and victories your family will face.
Josh McAlister (00:40): Our guest on today's podcast is Stevie Rasmussen, wife of Drew Rasmussen, a right-handed pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays. Drew and Stevie have experienced a ton of success and gone through a lot of adversity, but have never wavered on their goal and vision for what success means for their family. Here, you get to hear their story and hear their advice that they would be able to give to you. So with that introduction, please allow me to introduce our guest on today's podcast, Stevie Rasmussen.
Stevie Rasmussen (01:06): Hi.
Josh McAlister (01:06): Stevie, welcome to the MLB Player's Wife Series.
Stevie Rasmussen (01:10): Thank you. I'm good. Thank you for having me. I think this is a really good idea. I kind of wish I would've had it back in the day, and so I'm excited to be able to share.
Josh McAlister (01:21): That's awesome, that's awesome. Yeah, that in and of itself, what you just said there, is the impetus of what we wanted to be able to do, right, and if I could just kind of paint a little picture of this is like we work with families that have the opportunity to have generational wealth or obtain it, and the idea is that yes, there's the player.
Josh McAlister (01:41): The player is in the limelight, he sees all the success and it's broadcasted on ESPN, and there's the locker room, et cetera. But just an equal counterpart, there's the wife who sits in the stands, who books the flights, who deals with rental units, and families and children all the while being the rock for their husband. And so I'm excited to share your story and to hear from you guys. You guys have a unique deal and so I'd actually just like to start there and let you just kind of riff, what is the Rasmussen's family story?
Stevie Rasmussen (02:19): It for sure is a weird one I would say, getting to where we are today. Looking back, it's provided us a lot of insight and helped us grow a lot. I think that when we were getting married, everyone said, "You guys have been through so much, you'll be good to go." But Drew and I met in college the week I moved in at Oregon State. Didn't want a boyfriend, didn't want to date an athlete. I didn't want my life to be revolved around a game, and here I am moving to Florida tomorrow for baseball. But we met at Oregon State and that was our freshman year. Kind of going through the baseball side of things, we loved Oregon State baseball and school, I had the baseball wives in my wedding I made so many great friends there.
Stevie Rasmussen (03:08): Freshman year was awesome. I didn't know anything about baseball. I feel like this is bragging, but it really defines how little I knew. In freshman year Drew pitched a perfect game and I couldn't figure out why people were crying. And I didn't know what a perfect game was, I had no idea. When I met Drew I didn't know what a bullpen was. So people are crying and I'm like, "Oh yeah, an hour and 40 minute game, love it, you pitched great." And then people are like, "No, this is a big deal." I was like, "Oh, okay." And they're like, "It's the first one ever." And I was like, "Oh yeah, this might be a big deal."
Stevie Rasmussen (03:42): So I had no idea. I had no idea what I was getting myself into and everything was good, we were on all the highs of the highs. Drew played on a really good team and we were at Oregon State and he got the starting role. Sophomore year he was the Friday night starter and everything was kind of peachy, and we were on a high, and then Drew got his first elbow reconstruction in March of sophomore year.
Stevie Rasmussen (04:10): So that was kind of our first reality, and I would say in college, you phrased it well by saying things are inevitable and things are going to happen, in college injuries isolating especially an injury like Tommy John, because you're by yourself for a year and a half and you're not involved really in the team at all anymore so it was like, "Oh, Drew's the guy, he's the starter," and then it's like, "Drew doesn't even go to the games." Some of the games he wasn't even allowed in. So it all kind of happened overnight in that sense so he rehabbed that surgery, which that surgery was like we found out Saturday he needed Tommy John, on Monday he was getting surgery.
Stevie Rasmussen (04:53): It was rough for us as a couple, I would say. A lot of growth happened in that time. Before that and through that, I didn't have my own identity, I would say. It was very much all about Drew, all about baseball, and I remember calling my mom and saying I don't know if I want this to be my life. I don't know if I want my whole life to be about baseball, and I think that's when I really found myself my own hobbies and my own things that kind of gave me purpose. So I kind of really used that time to focus on teaching and getting my degree and that helped me support Drew because I had my own purpose, I would say.
Stevie Rasmussen (05:36): And then so Drew rehabbed that whole year. We got to spend a lot of time together, which was good, that was a blessing in disguise. The next year he rehabbed until April. He played again in April. We were the best team in the country and we went to Omaha. He pitched in Omaha. He was drafted in the first round, so we were really at the top of the rollercoaster, I would say, and then everything came crashing back down again. So he was drafted in the first round in Omaha, we lost in Omaha, come home and we were like, okay, well we lost in Omaha but Drew was just drafted in the first round so kind of starting this new journey.
Stevie Rasmussen (06:22): And then Drew flew to Tampa and he was doing the whole day where you take your pictures and sign your paperwork and get your physical. And I was waiting for the Rays to post, "We just signed Drew Rasmussen," and they never did. And so he called me and he said, "I guess I blew out my elbow again," and so we had to go back to square one and we can talk more about in depth of that whole thing, but yeah. So then we went back to college and graduated together, that was our biggest blessing of Tommy John number two was that Drew got a full degree.
Stevie Rasmussen (06:58): So we both graduated, we both got college degrees from Oregon State. I never thought that Drew would be able to go to graduation with me so we kind of got that day that I never thought we'd get, and then we got engaged a year later, we got married in 2020 in the middle of a pandemic which is interesting, and then now we are having a baby. So we've come a long way from two freshman kids that met at Oregon State, but a lot of challenges in there, but also a lot of great memories I would say.
Josh McAlister (07:29): Gosh. One, thanks for sharing. I mean, there's a lot to unpack there and a bunch of questions roll through my mind. And a lot of it is I think life, right? It just sounds like life, you guys experienced together. It's funny, I mean, Drew played on probably or arguably one of the best collegiate teams to ever...
Stevie Rasmussen (07:51): He will argue that 2017 is the best thing you'll ever see to this day.
Josh McAlister (07:56): Right. I mean first round is everywhere, you had Adley Rutschman first overall pick, you had Steven Kwan who just actually at the timing of the recording of this podcast, right, made the big league club in Cleveland. Trevor Larnach, Drew, Cadyn Grenier, et cetera. I want to go back to something you said though that you said the first surgery that was in the inevitable adversity, right. I want to hear from you, what were your feelings? What were your doubts? Expand on you and your conversation with your mom of, "Hey, I don't know if I want to do this. This is a lot." Can you just talk more about that?
Stevie Rasmussen (08:41): Yeah. So I remember before he got his surgery, he was, I mean at the field every night until 8:00 or 9:00 and so you get torn between that, well, this is his dream and this is his life and also do I want to be a part of this? Him and him and Nate Yeskie, his pitching coach, they were doing scouting reports that I was like, "Does he have a family? Come on, he needs to go home." And Drew, he's so passionate about it and so I'm like I don't want to be pulling away from that, but also do I want to sacrifice this much? Do I want to have a relationship that looks like this basically? And I remember calling my mom and saying just kind of that, is this what I want?
Stevie Rasmussen (09:23): Because I don't want to ask Drew to do less. I wouldn't want to be the reason he ever looked back over his shoulder at anything. So it was kind of like I needed to decide, do I want to be in a life where you sacrifice this or do I want to not? And so she just talked me through it and said, "You just need to find for yourself what you want to do. If you can find your own passion and it makes you happy too and find yourself," and I think in baseball world, we get that way a lot. You introduce yourself as, "I'm Stevie, I'm Drew's wife."
Stevie Rasmussen (09:56): And so you kind of lose yourself in that, but I was really able to kind of take a step back and I think the surgery actually helped that because it kind of gave us a minute together as a couple without baseball which was kind of nice to see. And so I would say that really was rough, it was not easy. And it made the second one, the draft process is obviously devastating, but the surgery itself, we were like, "Oh, we got this. We've done this before we can do this." So it prepared us for that in a way.
Josh McAlister (10:32): Yeah. I mean, what I hear from you is that you wanted to be for Drew through that, and that's actually such a great thing. It wasn't like, "Oh, this is too hard. I want to spend more time with Drew." It was more like, "Hey, I'm committing to this family for..." And you were probably not saying that when you were young and in college, but at the same time this is like, "Hey, I want to commit to Drew. I want to commit to our vision of what we want to achieve and I know that's a high commitment," right. And you didn't want to be like...
Josh McAlister (11:04): Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that, and I think I'd love for you to expand on the feelings of the second surgery. And I know that's difficult and vulnerable because it is, it's more in the limelight, right, and there's doctors on the table, right. And just navigating that and your emotions through it and your... Yeah. I don't even know how to describe it, why don't you describe it.
Stevie Rasmussen (11:27): Yeah. So for people who don't know, so Drew was drafted and I'll just say how we got because you can Google it, so it doesn't really matter. But Drew was drafted in the first round for about 2 million. So his dream was that he literally was, my mom says had a lottery ticket and it got taken away. So he calls me in Tampa and he's like, "Something's wrong. They're flying me home." And so we're like, "Okay, here we go again. What are we going to do?" The whole process was a little weird the way it went.
Stevie Rasmussen (11:58): Ended up Tampa didn't have to sign us. They were great through the whole process, I mean, we played for them now and I love them so no hard feelings to them, it is a business and that was our first like now people say, "What's a business?" I'm like, "Oh, we know. We've heard." So they ended up not signing us, we lost all our money. Drew went back to college, actually paid for that year of college because Oregon State had assumed he wasn't coming back. So his scholarship was gone. He landscaped for my dad that whole summer, and I would say, I mean, it was hard. I mean, watching someone like the person that you love the most goes through something like that is it sucks.
Stevie Rasmussen (12:39): But Drew never labored. He was like, "I'm going to be a professional baseball player. This is just a setback." And I was thinking in my head, "Well, are you? Because no one's really done that. I think we were the first people, and I could be wrong, but I think we were one of the first people to be... And I say, we now because after this you say we...
Josh McAlister (12:59): I love it. Say we.
Stevie Rasmussen (13:01): ... to be drafted having two Tommy Johns and make it to the big leagues. So Drew was like, "Yeah, I'm going to be a big leaguer still," and I'm thinking in my head, "Is he?" Nobody's done that. So really I think that having him and having him be so confident in himself and people would even say, "Behind closed doors, does he get mad?" And I was like, "No, he never felt sorry for himself." He was never like, "Poor me. I should have got this. I should have got that."
Stevie Rasmussen (13:26): He just put his head down, and I think that has a lot to do with his faith, and I think that helped him a lot through everything because I mean, literally he came back and he was landscaping in Gresham Morgan and he never complained one day.
Stevie Rasmussen (13:39): We did a lot of research and we found a new doctor, Dr. Meister, who I love. Went to him, and in August we were on the road to recovery. And that year was a weird year because Oregon State was so good, they won the national championship that year. So people always ask, "Well, was Drew on that team?" It was like, "We kind of were. He was there. He was more of a bullpen coach, I always say.
Stevie Rasmussen (14:05): But when it came to Omaha, we weren't there. And so it was an isolating year in itself, it was a hard year but I would say Drew's Drew is what got me through it because he was so positive the whole time. He was like anytime that I was feeling a nerve or something, he was like, "No, we're good. We got this. I'm still achieving my dream." It might be stupid confidence. But it worked.
Josh McAlister (14:32): Maybe us guys need to have some stupid confidence at times because it is. It's difficult and I just got to, I mean, come in Drew obviously, because he's seeing the bigger picture through this and just thank you for sharing. Knowing full well that it's not so much even about him, even this moment, right. He was thinking bigger, right. He was thinking about you and he was not wavering on his dream, right. He would've been very easy, and I think a lot of people would've said, "Yeah, it's okay to pack it in," so to speak.
Josh McAlister (15:03): And I don't want to harp here, but I do want to hear you say this is humbling experience of first rounder going to get introduced at the field in Tampa to landscaping in Corvallis, Oregon. Right. I mean you need to be able to have a faith about it, right. I mean, so that allowed you to propel into getting drafted again, right, and still being able pursue the dream. Talk about getting drafted, talk about minor leagues and everything that comes with that.
Stevie Rasmussen (15:39): Yeah. So I remember, I mean the first time it was the first round draft, so we had the party, we had our parents there, we had all the stuff and you don't know exactly when you're going to go, but you can get a pretty good idea and so we did the thing and watch Drew's name get called, it was all the fun. Second time I was student teaching. I was at school, Drew was studying with his friends for a finance final that day. So it was just an extremely different experience for sure. We had no idea what was going to happen. And our agent even said, "We're going to try our best. You literally haven't picked up a baseball since you got your elbow reconstructed for the second time." Let's not expect anything here and let's just go in and see what happens.
Stevie Rasmussen (16:19): So we were drafted by The Brewers and one of the reasons that we leaned so hard into them when we were getting calls was their process of rehabbing us. They had a lot of faith and they cared about that. And so that was kind of our biggest thing for us was, I mean the money is obviously good and it supports you to be able to do those things, but it was more about who could help Drew get to where he needed to be, that was the biggest part of it.
Stevie Rasmussen (16:49): So got drafted by The Brewers and Drew left to rehab. So he left, we graduated college, he was like, "Okay, well I got drafted, but can I please stay and go to graduations?" Obviously, they were okay with that. So we did that and then he left and I taught at home. I got the opportunity to teach second grade in my hometown and I couldn't really pass it up. I didn't want to, and he didn't want me to either. So that year Drew moved. He played in rookie ball low A, high A and double A.
Stevie Rasmussen (17:20): He had moved five times that year and I remember him calling me saying, "I don't want to do this by myself." And we also got the distancing, which a lot of people who are in baseball know. He would call me, we didn't have anything in common. I didn't know his friends, he didn't know my friends. We were just kind of... It's weird to not having anything in common with that person. So he at least moved five times and he called me and he was like, "I don't want to do this alone. What do we need to do to make it so you can come with me because this is great, I'm moving up levels. That's awesome, but this sucks. I'm living in an air mattress, I don't know anyone. This sucks."
Stevie Rasmussen (17:58): And so the next year I taught online pre COVID. Taught online and then the pandemic hit which we just say that timing for Drew is just, yeah, that sounds about right. So the pandemic hit and we lived in a trailer which actually was really fun. Would have been a little better if I could go to a baseball game, and then Drew was in the minor league for very long. There were rough days and we did the distance, but overall, we were very fortunate in that sense. And then he debuted in COVID in 2020 and I was in the hotel across the street.
Josh McAlister (18:44): Yeah. Didn't get the [crosstalk 00:18:46].
Stevie Rasmussen (18:46): Did not. So after all that, did not get to watch him. But...
Josh McAlister (18:51): Which, okay. Talk about that. Because, I mean, I don't want to put the wives in a box, but when their husband does get called up, that's a big moment obviously for the husband, right? But this is an equal moment for the wife, right, that you get to experience this because you just said, you lived in a trailer, Drew lived on an air mattress. You were teaching online. You basically upended your career so that you could be with him, right. So yeah, this means a lot.
Stevie Rasmussen (19:19): Yeah, it does. And I remember when we got to fall, we were in a trailer park outside of Appleton, Wisconsin, because that's where the triple A summer camp thing that they did was and Drew's not a crier, he started crying and I was bawling because it's like, you both work. Like you said, I don't want toot my horn here, but you sacrifice a lot. You're living in a trailer in Appleton, Wisconsin with nobody that you know. And it's a weird life, but then to watch your husband achieved that dream, especially I was also there on the day Drew was learning how to straighten his arm again and so it's like you kind of that whole, that all just gets put in perspective.
Stevie Rasmussen (20:00): And so we got the call and we packed everything up, drove instantly to Chicago because that's where they were debuting. Well, I drove Drew to Milwaukee, he was driving to Chicago. The bus, he was on got a flat tire on his way there, you can't make this up.
Josh McAlister (20:18): Can't make it up, can't make it up.
Stevie Rasmussen (20:18): Got a flat tire. We made it to Chicago and he didn't pitch in that series, he pitched in the next series in Minnesota. So yeah, it was amazing to see. And then when I actually got to see it in person in 2021, that was really awesome too. And then I would say our debut moment that we got was when he debuted back with The Rays in Seattle. Our whole families were there and that was kind of the moment that people get now, hopefully more of, but that was kind of our debut buy back, I would say, so.
Josh McAlister (20:54): That was the moment that you get to experience. Now you glossed over something that I do want you to talk about. Your debut with The Rays, right, is different than The Brewers, right. So there was a trade that happened in there. Can you talk about that as well?
Stevie Rasmussen (21:10): Yeah. That was probably my roughest point of baseball. So we were just getting in established in Milwaukee. It was May, so it wasn't that far into the season. Just starting to make friends. I remember that night, we were supposed to go to one of the wide pow top pizza done, hang out and watch the game and Drew called me, which he never called me before a game, so I was like, "Something's weird." He was in Cincinnati. He wasn't even home. He was like, "Hey, we just got traded to The Rays," which was so full circle that we were drafted by the first time.
Stevie Rasmussen (21:41): We kind of checked them off our list of like we'll never play there because of everything that happened, and so I was bawling and I called my mom bawling and I was like, "I don't want to go. I don't want to be traded. I like it here. I'm happy here, I'm not going." And I was angry because someone in an office somewhere who doesn't know me is controlling my life and it pissed me off, to be honest. And then Brooke texted me, Brooke Burns texted me and was like, "Did you just get traded? Tell me you didn't just get traded. So I went over to her house to her neighbors. I was bawling. She was amazing. The Brewers wives are amazing.
Stevie Rasmussen (22:24): They came over that night, she organized it and they packed my entire apartment in that night. The wives in the community is the biggest thing, I think. And so packed my entire apartment that night. Drew flew home the next day and we got traded and then we got option to AAA.
Stevie Rasmussen (22:42): So we were like, "Okay, we're moving to Tampa. Just kidding. We're moving to Durham." So Drew came home for one night, my apartment had been completely packed by the wives thankfully, and Drew came home, packed up. I got a flight out the next morning, which got canceled, so then I went to the Woodruff house and stayed the night because my flight got canceled and then my apartment was over, and we spent about a month in Durham. And I remember I was really still struggling. I remember texting Dan, our agent, and just being like, "I'm not doing that well. I'm not happy that we got traded. I don't like that someone else is controlling my life." I remember my mom saying, "Well, you don't have control of anything, so that was your first problem thinking that you had the control in the first place."
Stevie Rasmussen (23:28): But I remember I was angry about it. And then I started meeting wives in Durham and Tampa and they're amazing and Drew and I kind of just had to grow together because you move across the country to a place you've never been again in one day's notice, and now looking back, I think it's the best thing that ever happened to us. As a couple, as a career, it forced us to grow and that's what those adversities have done our whole relationship, is just you don't grow when you're comfortable.
Josh McAlister (24:04): Very wise words right there. I'd really like it to be the other way where it's like if it's really comfortable and nice and you have my tie in your hand, then that's when you grow, right. But that would be amazing, but it's not, right. I mean, well, one, just unbelievable story in the power of community. right? And just, I mean, Brooke, and I know you shared that story with me previously offline, the fact that Brooke did show up and kind of put herself in your shoes, right? And a lot of the wives and spouses and significant others can probably feel what that would be like, right, and so they kind of rally.
Josh McAlister (24:44): It's powerful to be able to have that community in which case you didn't probably know that you were getting into it, but you've shared many at times as well with me previously, The Rays have a very strong community as well.
Stevie Rasmussen (24:59): Yes. And I remember thinking that. I was like, "I just made friends here. I just got invited to go have wine in pizza and all of a sudden now I have to start all the way over?" I didn't know a single full with The Rays and now I'm so excited to go back to Tampa tomorrow, we have a baby shower this weekend for one of the wives and it's like I can't wait to see everyone. And so you have to remember that going into it. And then also when you get there, like I said, in a college, things like this are more isolating. But when you get to this level, everyone, not everyone, but when you play for The Rays, almost everyone has been in your position.
Stevie Rasmussen (25:37): Nobody's at home, nobody's with their family, nobody's comfortable. And that's what I always try to remember, that everyone's in that position and that Rays-wise, they brought me in instantly and they're amazing. And so I'm very fortunate by that and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but there was definitely a time where I was not happy, I was angry. I was mad. I was mad because I didn't want to be traded and I was like, "Why did someone else get to decide this for me?"
Josh McAlister (26:06): I know. And it's easy to talk about the business of baseball for other people, right? But when it hits home to you, right, you go like, "Okay, well I don't like the business of baseball. I don't like the fact that somebody can just upend my family and move it clear across the country or different organization. Are they even going to me?" As simple as it sounds, "Am I going to have friends?" It's the little questions that go like, "Ah." It just takes so much, right.
Josh McAlister (26:33): It just takes a lot, and I think, I mean, we get passionate about this and this is something that we enjoy talking about and I love hearing you talk about it, Stevie is like just casting the vision for your family, right. Being able to sit there and go, "Okay, Drew is going to go do his thing on the mountain, right. And it's good that The Rays traded back for him because they believe in Drew's success, right." From that standpoint, the business of baseball is good, right. But at the same token, it's just like, okay, well baseball can be this, for lack of a better term, a lucrative profession. Not only just monetarily, but just resources from just a network, from a social world, from all that comes with it, right.
Josh McAlister (27:23): And it's hard because then that introduces complexity into each individual family that they have to then navigate, and it's hard because then it's like with those type of resources, right, even with that type of wealth, it's kind of like there's just gasoline adding to the fire whatever is happening in your life is just exploded, right?
Stevie Rasmussen (27:46): Well, I think that's the biggest part of the community of the baseball wives, because nobody gets it fully unless they do it. And obviously, you're in this position where your husband makes a lot of money to play baseball and you know you're fortunate. And so to the outside world, you look like you're complaining about small things, but people don't think about and they can't relate to, they just can't. It's not even like you being complacent about your life or them being harsh, it's like they just don't get it that when you get traded, you have to find a new doctor and new this and new that.
Stevie Rasmussen(28:22): There's so many things that go into it that people don't see and they just look at it like, "Well, your husband's getting paid X amount to play baseball." And you're like, "Yeah, that's true. And we're so fortunate, we're so blessed. And it allows us to live a great life. However, it does uproot. It still is hard and it can still be hard even though you're getting paid a lot of money to do it." And I think that's where the wives community really is the best people to lean on.
Josh McAlister (28:49): Yeah. Money doesn't actually fix our problems, right. It doesn't. We like to use the terms like having health with wealth, right? Being good stewards of that resources, right. Money is just a tool to be taken care of what you and Drew want to accomplish in life, right? Bottom line, talk to me about that. What does success look like for your family.
Stevie Rasmussen (29:15): Yeah. I think, well, you touched on it obviously, health. I mean, when you're having a baby, I think this is really put everything into perspective for me of everyone's like, "What do you want? A boy or a girl?" And you genuinely just want your family to be healthy, that's the most important thing.
Stevie Rasmussen (29:29): And then for us, it's like getting rich is not what is success for us, it's having the resources to be able to live the life that makes us happy and to be able to give back and to be able to make sure our kids are... You don't have to worry about your kids, and you worry about them every day, but you don't have to worry about can we afford to buy them clothes? To buy them food? All that. Stevie Rasmussen (29:56): It's just like the money side of it allows us the freedom to have the time to spend with our family. That's our biggest goal, is to have the time together and to be able to do the things together that we want to do and when baseball's over and with baseball too.
Josh McAlister (30:17): That's an important distinction that I think it's not talked about a lot, is like when we talk about families, a lot of it is like, "Oh, when baseball's done, we want to do this. So when baseball is here, we want to have this second home or a ranch or whatever the case may be, right. It's like, "Well, there's actually an optimization that needs to happen during baseball with the [inaudible 00:30:39] money, right? And it's always, this is a great time of year, this is spring training at the timing of this podcast, right. People are trying to find rentals across the country when they're getting shipped out to go play, right. And a lot of it is like, "Hey, it actually might make a business."
Josh McAlister (30:59): There might be a business case to spend a little bit more on your short term rental to be comfortable, right, so that when Drew goes on the road, he feels that Stevie is safe living in this neighborhood while she's pregnant and he can actually go perform and go play and have a peace of mind about it, right, as opposed to just skimp and do this. And on the flip side, right, don't go spend and be lavish with things that aren't necessary, right. But I think we all know that. But it's just being able to have that true and I go back to it that health with wealth framework and that conversation that you and Drew get to have with each other on what do you guys want your life to look like?
Stevie Rasmussen (31:42): Yeah. And that's where we are fortunate in the side of it when you have enough money to have the resources, when I was talking to one of my friends and I was like, "The difference between the minor league where we are now is I can afford to ship my car. I mean, it's still a pain to figure out all logistics, but I can afford it. I can do it. We're going to be living in a place that is across the street from the field.
Stevie Rasmussen (32:04): We can do that and I was also talking to Drew today because The Rays doctor which I was telling you earlier, he's helping me set up an appointment. And I was like, "Well he's the team athletic trainer. That's not his job." And Drew goes, "Well, he's actually really smart because his job is to make sure I can perform, and if I know you are taken care of, I know I can perform. And that's very true. The Rays, they've taken all the pressure off Drew. "You don't have to have your phone on you all the time, give your wife our number, and if there's an emergency, we'll make sure you know. So you don't have to be stressing all the time about your wife being pregnant. We got it. we're going to help you and we're going to help her." That's a really good way for them to look at it too.
Josh McAlister (32:48): That's so good. It's got to be so comforting to you. So I'm curious, as a wife in your family, how do you help you and Drew stay grounded in the present moment? At the same time you had this goal, you had this vision of what you want to accomplish, right? You guys are from the Pacific Northwest. You eventually want to get back there, right. If you had the same time, it's like, "Hey, we got to stay grounded and stay present," how do you navigate that and how do you help Drew navigate that?
Stevie Rasmussen (33:22): Yeah. I would say I was raised in a way too where you live less than your means which has helped me do it now. We bought a house we could afford, no matter how the season went last year, we didn't know how many days we'd spend in the big leagues or not. And so Drew's great at it too, but just not adding those extra pressures that one, won't help us in the long run and two, aren't necessary. Drew knows if he got released tomorrow, knock on wood, that we can afford our house. So it's like that's not an extra pressure that he had. And so just kind of trying to keep our lifestyle within those means so that it doesn't add to any of that, I think that helps us a lot.
Stevie Rasmussen (34:06): And then just being there for Drew. At the beginning of last season, he was not great, and I remember him coming home and me being like, "What do you say?" I don't know the difference between his sliders and how they work and when to throw, and I don't know any of that, but then helping him find the resources. He went to the mental strength doctor and I was like, "Okay, why don't you call him? I think it'd be a good idea leaning on the resources that we have and this year, you guys, and a few other people have really helped us expand those resources, and I think that's really helped him a lot too.
Josh McAlister (34:42): So good. This happens a lot is where we have a... And I have a point that I want to make to what you first said on living within your means, right. Inevitably, we all want to compare ourselves to some other family and keep up with the Joneses for lack of a better term. And when we get outside of that, there's just stress that comes in, right.
Josh McAlister (35:04): And you don't necessarily know, and can't put your thumb somewhere to really pinpoint that, but it just comes with the fact that, "Hey, if you're outstretching your world, your resources, Drew's performance might get affected, your marriage might get affected," right. And so just being able to make sound decisions matters. It matters immensely for just the stewardship of all your resources for your family. Yeah. And then-
Stevie Rasmussen (35:32): And you guys have helped us with that too. You help us look at the perspective of like today, you can afford those things. If you want the biggest house and the newest car, yes, you can afford it, but you guys do a great job and one of my favorite things about AWM is looking at the long term. Okay, you want to have this many kids and have, them go to college and you eventually want to build your dream house. If you do those things today, here's how it will impact your life later.
Stevie Rasmussen (36:00): And so it's not necessarily, you guys don't say you can't do that because we can, but looking at it in that long term of adding extra stress or saying if you live your comfortable life, that is amazing, then you can also have these things later.
Josh McAlister (36:18): Hmm. Yeah. I didn't ask for you to say that, so thank you so much. But... Stevie Rasmussen (36:23): I mean, and that's one of the biggest reasons why we decided that AWM was for us is because the planning of not just making as much money as you can and this is how we're going to do it and why we're doing it, but look at your family and what's important to your family, and that was one of the biggest things that was most important to us was the family's huge for us and Drew's working.
Stevie Rasmussen (36:43): Yes, playing baseball is his dream but he was a little stressed when we were pregnant and there was no baseball season. It's stressful to not have your income, but then how can we make it last a long time and how can it impact our kids is really what's most important to us.
Josh McAlister (37:01): Yeah. Amen. Couldn't have said it better myself. It's the goal that we want. We want families to just... We want to write the ship of what we would say is the shirt sleeve's problem, and that means that, hey, generation one builds all the wealth and by generation three, it's all gone, right. And so being able to partner alongside families and just listening to you. Kudos to you guys for saying that, it means you guys have a good framework.
Josh McAlister (37:28): I'd like to close with this, and I think we've heard so much from you and just thank you for sharing that Stevie, because this is hard. This life is difficult and it's not the glam that everybody sees on sports center. What advice would you have for somebody walking through this life that's in your shoes? Or maybe to say differently, what would you want to know years ago that you know today?
Stevie Rasmussen (37:56): Yeah. So there's a million things. My biggest thing would be that I like the way you wrote the inevitable adversity, because it's going to happen. I mean, it's going to happen in any life, but especially in this lifestyle, you're going to get traded, you're going to get released, you're going to get injured, you're going to get baseball life that happens to you. But it is just that those times can be very isolating, especially an injury. You go from being on the team every day, going to the games every day to like, "Should I go to the games? My husband's not playing, my boyfriend's not playing."
Stevie Rasmussen (38:36): So I would say in those hard times it's leaning on the community because odds are 90% of the time someone else has been there, and that's been my biggest factor is leaning on the wives and so our baseball life community has a lot of great resources that helps the wives a lot. But just not being afraid to reach out, and there are those wives that kind of bring the younger girls in which helps a lot of how do you do this? How do you get through this? How do you support your husband when he is going through injury? Or just little things like that that they can relate to, and I would say that was my biggest thing is the community of the wives because that's who helps you get through it.
Stevie Rasmussen (39:18): Because like I said, no one can relate fully. People can relate in some ways, your family can relate in some ways, your friends can relate in some ways, but the wives can really relate fully, I would say. And then also another thing that I think that the trade helped me not lose perspective of is that you and your husband are... Your team, when it comes to baseball, when it comes to Drew and Stevie, you're the only two people that have your full interest of Drew and Stevie. That you're all and that's it. So when you get traded, you realize you're like, "Oh, it's just us. I guess the two of us are on another journey again." So it's just kind of keeping that in perspective that it is just about your family not get caught up in everything.
Josh McAlister (40:05): Yeah. Amen, amen. Community. And you are your team. I love it. And for anybody out there, it's like, yeah, what Laurie and Keel and her team are doing with our baseball life is just incredible. I encourage everybody to go tap into their resources, tap into their story, tap into what they provide because there is even just from a standpoint of like, "Hey, I just got traded. I need to find a new OB in Seattle," right? They've got incredible, incredible
Stevie Rasmussen (40:32): They have everything from that. So the other day they posted, if you got released from spring training this week, tell us how you feel. It's anonymous. If you want to say, "I am mad," that's okay. They give you that outlet to be that person too. And then it shares with other people, "Hey, I'm not alone in this."
Josh McAlister (40:51): Yeah, yeah.
Stevie Rasmussen (40:55): It's a weird life.
Josh McAlister (40:56): Amen, amen. Well, it is, but it's worth it.
Stevie Rasmussen (41:01): It is. It's amazing. And the highs are highs and the lows are lows, so I would just say don't ride either wave too intensely because it comes in waves and it goes in waves.
Josh McAlister (41:14): Amen, amen. Well, Stevie-
Stevie Rasmussen (41:16): You're welcome.
Josh McAlister (41:16): ... thank you for sharing this time with us.
Stevie Rasmussen (41:19): Hopefully, I can help someone. If someone's going through some injury and they're alone, they can reach out to me. I've done it, I've been there.
Josh McAlister (41:29): Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Stevie.
Stevie Rasmussen (41:29): Yes. Thank you.